


coolest dude this side of bro-ville

by TreasonousToaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave is an idiot, Dialogue-Only, Earth C (Homestuck), M/M, Name Changes, Not Beta Read, Not Humanstuck, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:49:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28971609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreasonousToaster/pseuds/TreasonousToaster
Summary: Dave changes his name
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	coolest dude this side of bro-ville

**Author's Note:**

> this hasnt been beta read/edited sorry if theres any mistakes

KARKAT: DAVE.  
KARKAT: DAVE.  
KARKAT: DAVE!  
KARKAT: (OH MY GOD.)  
KARKAT: DAVE, WHAT THE FUCK?  
DAVE: oh hi karkat  
KARKAT: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IGNORING ME?  
DAVE: dude what  
DAVE: i literally just said oh hi karkat  
DAVE: how is that ignoring you  
KARKAT: WHEN I CALLED YOUR NAME LIKE FIVE FUCKING TIMES AND YOU JUST SAT THERE LIKE A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT INSTEAD OF ANSWERING ME?  
DAVE: but you didnt call my name  
KARKAT: YES I FUCKING DID!  
DAVE: no  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK, I DID!  
DAVE: nope  
KARKAT: I SAID 'DAVE'!  
DAVE: ah see  
DAVE: thats why i didnt answer  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: my names not dave  
KARKAT: WHAT???  
DAVE: my names not dave  
KARKAT: YEAH I FUCKING HEARD YOU!?  
KARKAT: I MEANT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOUR NAMES NOT DAVE?  
DAVE: i mean my names not dave  
DAVE: dude i dont know why thats so confusing to you  
DAVE: like if you said my names not karkat  
DAVE: id be like huh  
DAVE: ok  
DAVE: guess his names not karkat  
KARKAT: MY NAME *IS* KARKAT!  
DAVE: i know  
DAVE: but my names not dave  
KARKAT: YES IT FUCKING IS!  
DAVE: nope  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 'NOPE'???  
DAVE: it means no  
DAVE: its like a longer version of the word  
DAVE: actually where did the word nope come from  
DAVE: hey ill google it  
KARKAT: NO DONT-  
KARKAT: DONT FUCKING GOOGLE THAT!  
KARKAT: DAVE-  
DAVE: not dave  
KARKAT: *DAVE* YOUR NAME HAS BEEN DAVE FOR AS LONG AS IVE FUCKING KNOWN YOU.  
KARKAT: WHICH IS A PRETTY LONG DAMN TIME!  
KARKAT: SO DON'T EVEN FUCKING TRY WHATEVER THIS IS!  
DAVE: dude  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: i changed my name  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: YOU FUCKING WHAT?  
DAVE: i changed my name  
KARKAT: WHY?  
KARKAT: TO WHAT?  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK?  
DAVE: only the coolest name known to man  
DAVE: like seriously the coolest  
DAVE: its like a fuckin ice cube  
DAVE: in a freezer  
DAVE: inside of a bigger freezer  
DAVE: inside of-  
KARKAT: DAVE!  
DAVE: dude  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME TO???  
DAVE: buskin  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: chad buskin  
KARKAT: CHAD BUSKIN?  
DAVE: yep  
KARKAT: CHAD?? BUSKIN????  
DAVE : yes  
KARKAT: SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, YOU DECIDED TO CHANGE YOUR NAME. YOU COULD HAVE PICKED ANYTHING- LITERALLY ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. AND YOU CHOSE *CHAD* **BUSKIN**???  
DAVE: yep  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK???  
DAVE: aw dude  
DAVE: you dont like it?  
KARKAT: NO I DONT FUCKING LIKE IT!  
KARKAT: WHAT WAS WRONG WITH DAVE?  
DAVE: it was too boring  
KARKAT: AND CHAD IS BETTER?  
DAVE: oh yeah  
DAVE: its cool  
DAVE: and its original  
KARKAT: (JESUS SHITTING CHRIST...)  
KARKAT: AND *BUSKIN*?  
KARKAT: WHY BUSKIN?  
DAVE: i dunno  
DAVE: it just went well with chad  
DAVE: chad and buskin  
DAVE: chad buskin  
DAVE : dude i dont know  
DAVE: it just works  
KARKAT: OKAY SURE BUT DAVE STRIDER WORKED TOO?  
DAVE: sure  
DAVE: but chad buskin dude  
DAVE: like  
DAVE: chad buskin!  
KARKAT: CAN YOU CHANGE IT BACK?  
DAVE: i can  
KARKAT: GOOD-  
DAVE: but i aint gonna  
KARKAT: WH- WHAT THE FUCK? WHY NOT?  
DAVE: cause im chad buskin now  
KARKAT: I'M NOT FUCKING CALLING YOU THAT.  
DAVE: but dude  
DAVE: thats my name  
KARKAT: NO IT FUCKING ISN'T!  
DAVE: it is  
DAVE: had it legally changed  
KARKAT: ...  
KARKAT: ARE YOU SERIOUS?  
KARKAT: YOU HAD YOUR NAME *LEGALLY* CHANGED TO **CHAD BUSKIN**???  
DAVE: naw  
DAVE: but i could  
KARKAT: PLEASE DON'T!!  
DAVE : dude whats wrong with chad buskin?  
KARKAT: ITS FUCKING STUPID!  
DAVE: naw  
KARKAT: YES!!  
DAVE: naw  
KARKAT: YAW!!!  
DAVE: you are talking to THE chad buskin  
DAVE: coolest dude this side of bro-ville  
KARKAT: PLEASE STOP.  
DAVE: west bro-idelphia  
DAVE: born and raised  
DAVE: on the bro-grounds where i spent most of my days  
KARKAT: OKAY! JESUS!  
KARKAT: I WILL CALL YOU CHAD IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP!!  
DAVE : ok  
KARKAT: OK... *CHAD*...  
KARKAT: ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?  
KARKAT: ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, CHAD BUSKIN?  
DAVE: nah  
KARKAT: WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT?  
DAVE: cause chad buskin fuckin sucks  
KARKAT: WHAT???  
DAVE: yeah i was just fuckin with you  
DAVE: i feel bad for all the kids named chad  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DAVE?  
DAVE: chad buskin  
KARKAT: SO YOU WERE JUST PURPOSEFULLY IGNORING ME EARLIER?  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: oops  
KARKAT: MOTHER FUCKER.  
DAVE: thats chad buskin to you  
KARKAT: YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING NAME?  
DAVE: yep  
DAVE: dave buskin  
DAVE: chad strider  
KARKAT: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DAVE, PLEASE.  
DAVE: ok ive decided  
DAVE: i will now and forever be known  
DAVE: as dave chad buskin strider  
KARKAT: WHY??  
DAVE: chad and buskin are my middle names  
DAVE: no one will even know  
KARKAT: *I'LL* KNOW.  
DAVE: exactly  
DAVE: dave chad buskin strider  
DAVE: god damn  
DAVE: i have the best fucking name  
KARKAT: CHRIST...  


**Author's Note:**

> i didnt really know how to end this so its a little anticlimactic sorry
> 
> tumblr: treasonousToaster


End file.
